True Hell's Kitchen (DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!)

I was joking with Amig-J once about an extreme restaurant. In this crazy old world even that might be a success. The food in The Fear Factor would be chicken feed compared to this. Kick out Ramsey, bring in The Amigos. Amig-J has done some experimenting with garlic, I know how to use microwave oven plus barbeque sausages and Amig-O's mother is good at preparing food. Thus we'd make an excellently capable team. No Michelin stars expected however...

We could serve mad-cow steaks from Germany, Indonesian bird-flu duck and Finnish salmonella eggs. To drink we could serve Chinese milk powder drinks, bottled poop water from Finland (legacy of Nokia). From the US, we could get gene-manipulated food of several kind. Sweden could provide us ICA's re-stamped meet, fish and shrimps. Maybe boiled alive pigs too for a seasonal specialty.

For vegetarians we could serve for example cassava, cooked only for 10 minutes. Then false morel (korvasieni/murkla) that has been cooked only once could be on the menu. And blowfish, wrongly cooked of course. Also leaves of potato and rhubarb might do the trick. And don't forget the mushrooms that have been picked near the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in Ukraine. They could be used as lighting too, LOL!

For alcohol drinkers we'd serve spirit bought in Tallinn, Estonia, from a man in a dark alley. For dessert Italian grappa and Greek ouzo might be ordered with Swedish automatic machine coffee. Then again, Amig-J makes competent coffee himself too. And blue cheese has been replaced with cheese that has true mould on it. For children we'd have only Swedish weeners and potato salad, that shoud teach them, LOL!

When we brought the menu to a customer, we'd require him/her to sign an agreement in which we would be released from all responsibility of consequences. We could get all this stuff with a huge discount, maybe even free sometimes, and sell it at price tenfold. Hell, this could be a real success story! From rags to riches, and from riches to prison... If you want, you can suggest other great dishes for our imaginary restaurant. You might get a piece of our action, including piece of our sentence! (all of this was TIC - don't get upset, you fools who didn't realize it by yourselves!)